Michael Sherbun Says Communication Is Not a Soft Skill

Drawing on 37 years of experience in behavioral health and leadership, Sherbun says understanding human behavior is essential to communicating effectively under pressure.

Olympia, Washigton, October 23rd, 2026, ZEX PR WIRE, Leaders are often trained to think about strategy, operations, performance, and decision-making. Michael Sherbun believes they should spend more time thinking about what happens to human behavior when pressure enters a conversation.

Sherbun, a behavioral health executive, author, trainer, and communication specialist with 37 years of experience, says communication should not be treated simply as a “soft skill.” Decisions, expectations, accountability, conflict, and organizational change all eventually have to move through conversations between people, and people do not leave their emotions, assumptions, or previous experiences at the door.

“Communication is not something that sits beside leadership,” Sherbun said. “It is one of the ways leadership actually happens. You can make a sound decision, but eventually that decision has to move through real people. How they hear it and how they respond to it matters.” For Sherbun, that makes understanding human behavior an important part of communicating effectively.

Pressure Changes the Way People Communicate

Throughout his career in behavioral health, healthcare operations, training, and executive leadership, Sherbun has spent considerable time around people in high-pressure situations.

One lesson has remained consistent: pressure changes conversations.

Someone who feels criticized may become defensive. Someone who feels powerless may become angry. Another person may become quiet. An employee who believes a decision has already been made may decide speaking honestly has little value.

Sherbun cautions against treating those reactions as simple personality traits.

“When somebody becomes defensive, we can immediately decide we’re dealing with a defensive person,” Sherbun said. “But I think the more useful question is what happened in this interaction that made them feel they needed to defend themselves. That doesn’t excuse behavior. It gives you more information about it.” That distinction is part of what Sherbun describes as behavioral communication: paying attention not only to the words being exchanged but also to the human behavior influencing them.

Authority Changes What People Are Willing to Say

Sherbun says his own move into executive leadership made him increasingly aware of another behavioral factor: power.

Employees do not necessarily speak to a CEO the way they speak to a colleague. The greater the perceived consequences of disagreement, the more carefully people may choose what to say.

“The higher you move in an organization, the more careful you have to be about assuming people are telling you everything,” Sherbun said. “If nobody disagrees with you anymore, you have to ask whether you suddenly became right about everything or whether people stopped feeling comfortable telling you when you’re wrong.” For organizations, Sherbun argues, that is more than a cultural concern. Employees closest to day-to-day operations may see problems before senior leaders do. If people learn that disagreement is unwelcome, leaders can end up making decisions with incomplete information.

Asking for honest feedback is only part of the solution. Employees also pay attention to what happens after someone provides it.

Understanding Behavior Does Not Mean Excusing It

Sherbun also cautions against confusing an understanding of human behavior with avoiding accountability.

Leaders still have to address poor performance, enforce boundaries, resolve conflict, and communicate decisions people may not like.

“Understanding why somebody reacted a certain way doesn’t mean I have to accept the behavior,” Sherbun said. “Listening doesn’t mean agreement, and empathy doesn’t mean the boundary disappears.” Instead, Sherbun believes understanding behavior can help leaders determine what a conversation actually requires.

Someone who doesn’t feel heard may repeat the same point several times. Someone who is embarrassed may hear reasonable feedback as a personal attack. An employee who appears resistant to a change may actually be uncertain about what the change means for their role.

The behavior provides information, but Sherbun says leaders still need to remain curious rather than assuming they know exactly what another person is thinking.

More Information Does Not Always Create Understanding

Organizational change is one area where Sherbun says the difference between providing information and understanding behavior becomes particularly visible.

Leaders may communicate a change through meetings, emails, presentations, or written instructions and reasonably believe they have delivered the message. Employees, however, may still be trying to understand what the decision means for them.

“There are times when leaders think, ‘We already communicated this,’” Sherbun said. “But sending information and having a conversation are not necessarily the same thing. The question is what people understood, what they’re concerned about, and what they believe the change means for them.” Repeating the same explanation may not resolve those concerns.

Sherbun says leaders should consider whether the problem is actually a lack of information or whether emotion, uncertainty, trust, or another human factor is affecting how that information is being received.

The Psychology Behind the Words

These observations have contributed to Sherbun’s current focus on The Psychology of Conversations, an approach that examines what happens beneath the words people exchange.

His work through The Navigator focuses on behavioral communication, de-escalation, burnout prevention, and helping people navigate difficult conversations while preserving relationships.

Although much of Sherbun’s experience comes from behavioral health and organizational leadership, he believes the underlying principles are human, not industry-specific.

A disagreement between employees may look different from an argument within a family. A coach speaking with a frustrated athlete faces a different situation from an executive announcing an organizational change. Yet emotion, assumptions, expectations, trust, previous experiences, and perceived power can influence all of those interactions.

“Two people can hear the same words and walk away believing two very different conversations took place,” Sherbun said. “That’s why I think we need to become interested in more than what was said. We need to understand what was happening with the people having the conversation.” For Sherbun, that is why communication should not be dismissed as a soft skill.

“Communication is sometimes called soft because it is difficult to measure,” he said. “But when communication breaks down, the consequences aren’t soft. You see them in conflict, relationships, trust, burnout, and whether people are willing to talk honestly when something is wrong.”

About Michael Sherbun

Michael Sherbun is a behavioral health executive, author, trainer, coach, and communication specialist based in Olympia, Washington. With 37 years of experience in behavioral health and organizational leadership, his work focuses on behavioral communication, de-escalation, burnout prevention, and The Psychology of Conversations. He is the founder and CEO of The Navigator, where he explores how understanding human behavior can improve communication during difficult, high-pressure interactions. Sherbun is also the author of Caring for the Caregiver: 8 Truths to Prolong Your Career.